If you live in a shared accommodation, chances are that at some point you and your housemates will have to work out what to do when one of them is being too loud.
Whether it’s a party or just talking loudly, the noise can be really annoying for everyone else.
Here we’ll look at how to politely tell someone they’re being too noisy without sounding like a jerk, and what to do about it if they don’t stop.
The first thing you should try is asking them nicely if they could speak more quietly – even though this may seem obvious, people often don’t realise how much their voice carries in the home environment until someone tells them.
A common problem
One of the most common problems in shared living arrangements is noise.
Noise from housemates can be anything from a loud TV, to playing music at night, to fighting with friends.
Whilst trying to talk sensibly with people who won’t turn down the volume can be frustrating, there are things which usually work well:
Offer practical solutions.
If they’re watching TV and it’s too loud, suggest using headphones so that the volume doesn’t disturb anyone else.
Whatever the problem might be, it’s important that you talk about it as soon as possible.
It may seem like an awkward conversation topic but if you don’t bring up your concerns with your roommate they will only get worse and more out-of-control over time.
Remember that your roommate is someone you’re going to be living with for a long time, not just this week or month.
Be honest about your problems and concerns. Your roommate may be surprised at first but they will thank you in the end.
The easiest way to get over the awkwardness of talking about noise is to lay it on straight and tell them how much these noises bother you.
Don’t get into an argument
You don’t want to sound accusatory or like your roommate is purposely trying to annoy you, so make sure you keep an open mind during the conversation and try your best to relax.
If things get heated, take a break and go back later when you’ve both cooled down.
Some people might think that turning up their music louder will mute the noise, or that they only play music at night when everyone is asleep.
You need to ask them directly if this is the case and tell them how you feel about it.
If your roommate claims that they didn’t know that their volume was bothering you, don’t get angry.
This is a common mistake made by new roommates and they’ll probably turn down their music next time.
Take control of what you can do yourself
If you find yourself having lots of problems with noisy housemates, there are some additional things you can do.
Use earplugs or headphones while doing homework or reading in your room so that loud noises won’t bother your ears as much.
A pair of noise-canceling headphones can also be helpful since they block out all background noise.
If possible, listen to music on Spotify or Pandora through your computer or TV rather than playing an album through a speaker system.
This way you can play the music at whatever volume is comfortable for you, without annoying everyone else in the room.
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Be reasonable and respectful even if they are not
If you still have difficulties with noise from a roommate then, if you can, get them to consider how they’d feel if someone was making their life difficult at home.
The key here is to make your request in a calm and reasonable way – but don’t be afraid to say no if you really have to!
Of course some people won’t take kindly to polite requests like this – what can you do about it?
You could explain that other people in the house might need to sleep or study later on, but otherwise there are two things which will work, either simply telling them that someone is complaining (assuming this doesn’t upset them!) or taking action yourself.
Don’t worry about coming off as rude if you do this, it’s their job to respect your right to peace and quiet – if they won’t then getting tough is fair enough.
If the situation comes to an impasse, try moving into another room for a while.
This lets them know that you’re not just being difficult, but also shows that you have some understanding of their needs too.
There are lots of options other than complaining – why not suggest going out with them or cooking something? Or you could even invite a few people round yourself.
Ultimately, it’s important just to remember that above all else communication is key.
If possible keep the door open when talking with housemates about something important, as this allows them to better understand your viewpoint.
It’s best to do this by explaining your needs calmly and asking what they think of the situation – from both sides you should be able to find a compromise that works well for everyone.
Speak to the landlord if your efforts fail
If something comes up which you just can’t agree on (or multiple people are being bothered) you might want to get in touch with the landlord or housing officers.
They should be able to help put things right if there is a serious problem.
Final Words
How can you get your housemates to be quiet when they’re not disturbing anyone else in the home?
The best way is by telling them politely and respectfully.
Be sure that you are calm, talk in a normal voice, use short sentences and avoid raising your voice or being sarcastic.
If this doesn’t work for some reason, try making up rules with other members of the household about how much noise they’re allowed to make at certain times.
It might help if everyone agrees on what’s acceptable so there won’t be any arguments later down the road.
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